Living and Learning: A Journey With My Best Friend

I clearly remember this one morning. I was listening to music and my best friend Aditi, who is now my roomie was at the window soaking in some sunlight. Watching her, being happy, enjoying the sunshine after a few days of constant rain made me smile too. Suddenly I realized how lucky I was to share my life and space with my best friend. After several months of feeling low because of my separation from my husband, this little moment made me understand how at times, we are so stuck in the past that we don’t focus on the present. 

The day we moved in.

Like most millennials, I grew up watching ‘Friends’ and always wondered what it would be like to live on my own. After sharing space with someone for so many years, it is daunting and scary to live alone. That and the timing of both of our separations made it an obvious choice for us to move in together. That was the day I knew that while I enjoy my time alone, there is absolutely no shame in accepting that I need a person to come back home to. Luckily, my best friend became that one person for me.

Aditi and I have known each other for over a decade now, but it was only when I started living with her, that I realized how much of a powerhouse she is and how much there is to learn from her. Honestly, I always thought that if you are sharing a space with someone, you need to have something to talk about constantly; which we usually do. However, there were times when we didn’t talk much, and I started to feel, am I getting bored of my best friend or if I wasn’t a good person to live with. Of course, my marital situation triggered this emotion and did not make things better for me. That’s when Aditi said to me, “Anchal, we don’t need to talk all the time because we will be in each other’s faces for most of the day. Not having conversations does not mean I love you less. I might not talk to you for days, but knowing that you are in the bedroom doing your thing is all that matters to me.” This does not mean Aditi doesn’t make an effort, it's just her way of being herself. She taught me something about sharing spaces in silence with your loved ones. Her advice made me grow as a person and with that, our relationship grew too. 

She has found her own social circle in this big city, and I am truly happy for her. But back when we lived in different cities and I visited her, all of her time was mine. So, being a little jealous that she has people to hang with and I don’t, makes me only human, I guess? Sometimes, I fear that she might just find a new best friend. It is tough sometimes to watch her go partying while I sit at home. But when she comes home and tells me about her day, and her feelings, and gives me all the gossip, I don’t dwell on the sadness. I am happy she has had a great day and I hope she is happy coming home to me too. 

Often, we look back fondly and laugh at our time together through the 20’s, but, 30s truly feel like a new beginning altogether. Once or twice a month we become 23 again, get drunk, dance, sing, play games, and have people over in our swanky rented apartment. This 1 year has changed me as a woman. Not only do I live for myself but I also strive to be a better friend to Aditi. Doesn’t mean I don’t get mad at her when she is working while I am talking to her.

I am grateful for her, but even after writing this whole essay, am I convinced to go on a weekend getaway to Lonavala or Alibaug? No. Of course, she is planning and I am canning!

- Anchal Tiwari (Anchal is a digital marketeer. Give her a beautiful sunflower and she’s yours!)